Award Nomination

Rita Stern, RN, earned degrees in biology, chemistry and equine management and worked as a veterinary hematologist before embarking on a nursing career in her early thirties. Rita has spent her entire seven years as a registered nurse caring for patients in the oncology unit at Poudre Valley Hospital in Ft. Collins, Colorado.

Early in her career, Rita developed a special empathy for her patients who had dropped off the curative path. They had used up all options for a cure; there were no more surgeries, treatments, drugs or studies that could sustain them. Rita saw patients who were still functional, had time left to be productive, but were often simply awaiting their deaths.

Patients who are terminally ill, according to Rita, have two concerns: pain management and unfinished business. Rita has made it her mission to devise meaningful projects for those patients to complete in the short, precious window of time left to them because, she says, she wants them to have peaceful deaths. To assist them with tying up loose ends, Rita consults with each patient to determine the projects that best address their unfinished business, whatever that might be. The projects, customized to each patient's needs, give meaning to their deaths by allowing them to leave tangible pieces of themselves and participate in the future when they are no longer physically here.

Just two examples:
For the mother of two young sons, in the final two months of her struggle with malignant melanoma, Rita assisted in videotaping her reading her boys' favorite bedtime stories. The mother also left video messages for her sons that included how she knew their father was the man she wanted to marry, how she felt when she learned she was pregnant with them, qualities they should look for in a wife and how to overcome adversity. Rita suggested ideas for gifts that the mother might want to leave for the boys, to be given to them at certain milestones in their lives--key chains for when they get their driver's licenses, for example, and cards and letters for graduations, weddings and births of children. Rita brought family members together to assemble photo scrapbooks that documented years of family Christmas gatherings, also to be given to the boys. When the woman's best friend visited from Florida, Rita arranged a spa day so they could celebrate their friendship one last time.

Another of Rita's patients, a doctor dying of a brain tumor, was troubled because his only child, a teenaged son, harbored resentment due to his parents' divorce and the father's remarriage. He was refusing to communicate with his father and the father had much he wanted to say to his son. Rita suggested writing letters to his son but the father struggled, not knowing how to say what he wanted. Rita created an outline that guided the father to cover topics such as love, forgiveness, guidance and thanks. The first letter opened a floodgate of words spilling from the father and he wrote letter after letter, even dictating them when he grew too weak to write. Rita knew that not only would the letters give the father peace, they would ease any guilt the son might feel for not being with his father at the end of his life.

Rita covers expenses for these projects from her own pocket. If necessary, she meets with patients and family members after her workday ends, often in coffee shops, sometimes in their homes. She gives her personal phone numbers to patients and tells them they may call her anytime, day or night. She says they rarely call but knowing they can gives them tremendous comfort. She buoys the spirits of her patients by assuring them that they have fought the good fight and tried hard to live, which makes them winners. Knowing the dramatic influence a nurse has during the end-stages of a person's life, Rita is passionate about teaching nurses how to care for the terminally ill and is a dedicated mentor as they learn the skills of end-of-life care.

Especially noteworthy, in light of the generous giving of her time is that Rita is the mother of three boys, twins who are three and a one-year-old. Rita credits the selfless support of her husband for enabling her to give so much time to her dying patients.

Rita told me, "I want my boys to be able to say, 'Our mother was always available to patients who needed her, but we never came second.'"

**Due to the nature of Rita's work, her acts of compassion take place both in and out of the hospital setting.**

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